Selena Gomez’s new era in music began at midnight—and her first single, “Lose You to Love Me,” is an emotional glimpse at her headspace over the last year. Gomez reflects on reclaiming herself at the end of a relationship, one fans speculated ahead of the song’s release was probably hers with Justin Bieber.
Ahead of the song’s release, Gomez wrote on Vevo that the song was about several life events. “This song was inspired by many things that have happened in my life since releasing my last album,” she said. “I want people to feel hope and to know you will come out the other side stronger and a better version of yourself.”
Bieber and Gomez ended their on-off relationship for good in March last year. The split began as a break turned breakup, and Bieber would go on and start dating Hailey Baldwin in June. Baldwin and Bieber got engaged a month later and married in September 2018.
Gomez said nothing directly about them. Us Weekly reported in September 2019 that Gomez is still healing a bit from their breakup but ultimately believes it was for the best. “Selena knows she’s better off without Justin, and that it’s the healthiest decision for her,” the source said. “She is open to dating, but right now she is solely focused on herself and enjoying life to the best of her ability, and getting back to being the Selena that she and all of her close ones knew prior to dating Justin.”
Gomez’s song tonight is her first public comment on her love life period since she was dating Bieber at the end of 2017 and early 2018. She wrote it with Finneas, Robin Fredriksson, Mattias Larsson, Julia Michaels and Justin Tranter, according to Genius.
Here, the lyrics, via Genius, with any possible Bieber references indicated, along with the gorgeous song and music video to watch below.
You promised the world
And I fell for it
I put you first and you adored it
Set fires to my forest
And you let it burn
Bieber and Gomez reconciled for the last time in October 2017 where Gomez suggests she put him above everything, but they had a lot of interactions between the release of Revival (in October 2015) and her single today. Bieber posted throwback photos of them together in 2015 and 2016, nostalgic for their relationship before they reconciled. And in the darker moments, he set multiple fires to her forest, long before he set what could be considered the the final one: him dating, getting engaged, and ultimately married to Hailey Baldwin less than six months after he and Gomez took a break (turned breakup).
The two got into a very viral Instagram comment fight in August 2016 when Gomez commented on a photo of Bieber complaining about the hate his then-girlfriend Sofia Richie was getting, “If you can’t handle the hate, then stop posting pictures of your girlfriend lol,” she wrote. “It should be special between you two only. Don’t be mad at your fans. They love you.” Bieber brutally responded back, “It’s funny to see people that used me for attention and still try to point the finger this way.” That was the darkest public moment in Jelena’s history.
Sang off-key in my chorus
‘Cause it wasn’t yours.
I saw the signs and I ignored it
Rose-colored glasses all distorted
Set fire to my purpose
And I let it burn
You got off on the hurting when it wasn’t yours
This isn’t the first time Selena Gomez has seemingly sung about the pain her relationship with Bieber caused her. In her song “The Heart Wants What It Wants,” (a song with a music video similarly shot in black and white) Gomez included a intro monologue where she spoke about being hurt by someone she loved, believed to be Bieber then. She said in that intro, “When I was on stage and I was thinking of… I know him, though. I know his heart, and I know what he wouldn’t do to hurt me. But I didn’t realize that feeling so confident, feeling so great about myself and then it just be completely shattered. By one thing. By something so stupid. But then you make me feel crazy, you make me feel like it’s my fault. I was in pain.”
Bieber also admitted this summer that he mistreated all the women he dated, including Gomez, before he ultimately married Hailey Baldwin. “I started doing pretty heavy drugs at 19 and abused all of my relationships,” he wrote last month. “I became resentful, disrespectful to women, and angry. I became distant to everyone who loved me, and I was hiding behind a shell of a person that I had become. I felt like I could never turn it around. It’s taken me years to bounce back from all of these terrible decisions, fix broken relationships, and change relationship habits. Luckily god blessed me with extraordinary people who love me for me.”
We always go into it blindly
I saw the signs and I ignored it
I gave my all and they all know it
The last comment Gomez gave about Bieber was in her Billboard November 2017 interview. She explained her decision then to bring him back into her life, hinting then how much she valued and put into that relationship. “I’m 25. I’m not 18, or 19, or 20,” she said. “I cherish people who have really impacted my life. So maybe before, it could have been forcing something that wasn’t right. But that doesn’t mean caring for someone ever goes away.And [that goes for] people in general. I mean, I grew up with Demi [Lovato]. Nick and Joe [Jonas] and Miley [Cyrus]—we’ve gone through seasons in our lives. I don’t think it’s as serious as people make things out to be half the time. It’s just my life. I grew up with all of these people, and it’s so cool to see where everybody is. It comes back to the idea of me remaining full. I think a true representation of love is beyond just yourself. It’s me going to get coffee earlier this morning and talking with a woman who was celebrating her birthday and going to Disneyland for the first time. I told her about my favorite things there, and she got excited, and then I got excited because she was excited. The littlest things are impactful.”
After their final breakup, a source would tell Entertainment Tonight in August 2018 (Bieber and Baldwin were engaged then) that Gomez’s friends didn’t like Bieber. “Selena is such a catch, and her friends want her to be with someone who’s worthy of her,” the source said. “They really didn’t like Justin and her together. He didn’t appreciate what he had in her.”
Sang off-key in my chorus
‘Cause it wasn’t yours
You promised the world
Made her more of a woman
I needed to lose you to find me
The “her” here could arguably be both Baldwin and Gomez. Bieber literally made Baldwin a Mrs. by marrying her. And as Gomez suggested in her comment explaining the inspiration behind “Lose You to Love Me,” Bieber helped Gomez grow. “I want people to feel hope and to know you will come out the other side stronger and a better version of yourself,” she said of what she hoped people would take from the song.
Pre-Chorus:
I put you first and you adored it
Set fires to my forest
And you let it burn
Sang off key in my chorus
‘Cause it wasn’t yours (Yeah)Chorus:
We always go into it blindly
I needed to lose you to find me
This dancing was killing me softly
I needed to hate you to love me (Yeah)
To love, love me
To love, love me
To love me
I needed to hate you to love me (Yeah)
To love, love me
To love, love me
To love me
I needed to lose you to love me
The dancing could figuratively be their on-off relationship cycles. And leaving Bieber behind, as Gomez ultimately did in March 2018, may have been her way of reprioritizing herself over him. Us Weekly suggested, when Jelena’s break was first reported, that Bieber’s selfishness was why Gomez pulled the trigger. “[He] doesn’t care about anyone but himself,” a source told the outlet that month. “The second she saw it, she walked away, especially now with her health. She knows she doesn’t need him.”
Verse 2
I gave my all and they all know it
You turned me down, and now it’s showing
In two months you replaced us
Like it was easy
Made me think I deserved it
And to think of healing
Bieber started dating Hailey Baldwin in June 2018 and got engaged to her in July. He explained to fans that he’d always love Gomez but that Baldwin was the bride he chose in a lengthy Instagram comment. He wrote, “I absolutely loved and love Selena she will always hold a place in my heart, but I am head over heels in love with my wife and she is absolutely the BEST THING that has ever happened to me period….This is a reply to all immature sick people who send Hailey hurtful messages like ‘ he always goes back to Selena’ or ‘Selena is better for him’ YOU HAVE NO IDEA MY LIFE AND WHATs good for me. Hailey is my Bride period if you don’t like that or support that that means you don’t support me and if you don’t support me your not a fan nor a good person.”
Chorus
We always go into it blindly
I needed to lose you to find me
This dancing was killing me softly
I needed to hate you to love me (Yeah)
To love, love me
To love, love me
To love me
I needed to hate you to love me (Yeah)
To love, love me
To love, love me
To love me
I needed to lose you to love me
Pre-Chorus:
I put you first and you adored it
Set fires to my forest
And you let it burn
Sang off key in my chorusTo love, love me
To love, love me
To love me
I needed to hate you to love me (Yeah)
To love, love me
To love, love me
To love me
I needed to lose you to love meOutro:
And now it’s goodbye, goodbye for us
And like that, Gomez says goodbye formally to the Jelena era.